I was walking around Manchester and one of those unbearably cute little French voices stopped me, asking, "excuse me, do you know where the University is?"
I turned around, and one of those unbelievably gorgeous French girls was stood there. Slim, toned, absolutely astoundingly beautiful - y'know. "Yeah," I said, knowing it was about 2 miles away. "Shall I walk you there?"
"Oh, thank you," she replied.
We're walking down Manchester, the Sun is shining, the air is thick with pollen, and we're chatting about France and shit. She's a big fan of Death Metal, which is weird because she looks pretty normal. We arrive at the student accomodation, and she says, "I have just moved here. Would you like to come up for a drink?"
"Ok," I say, getting completely erect immediately.
We go up the stairs, and through her door and into her bedroom, and she pins me against the wall and starts kissing me passionately and taking off my pants. I run my hands up her back and unhook her bra and slide off her t-shirt, looking with unbridled lust at her fantastic breasts.
She's left her computer on, and insane Death Metal is playing. Growls and grunts and screams, very bassy, very nice.
I begin to lick her nipples, and she gently unbuckles her jeans. "Excuse me," she says. "There's something I need to show you."
Her jeans fall around her ankles, and I stare at a monstrous penis, hard and bigger than mine. "That's no problem," I say, before dropping to my knees and nibbling her foreskin. It had a bit of cock snot on, which tasted terrible.
I glance up briefly at this fantastic French girl with these fantastic breasts, towering over me, and this fantastic penis in my mouth. She puts her hands on the back of my head and pushes my mouth deeper down the shaft. I suck like a motherfucker. It tasted strangely bitter, with a sweaty saltiness, and it was a little tempting to start chewing. It was very much a full savoury dish.
Soon, her hands have gone from my head and are massaging her boobs. I take her cock out of my mouth and begin to start licking the sides, licking off all the precum like it's ice-cream running down a cone.
I begin to kiss the japseye, and I felt the tremours indicating ejaculation. I barely had time to respond when semen shot out of her and landed in my eye. It streaked across my face, across my lips, in my hair... I wiped my brow.
Before I could even exchange pleasantries with her, she had grabbed me by the hair and was dragging me to her toilet bowl. She stood above me, like a beautiful naked French girl with a penis, and said, "clean my toilet with your tongue."
I didn't need further encouragement. I bent down and stuck out my tongue, and began to lick the sides of the bowl. If she'd just moved in, I reasoned, it'd be quite a clean toilet, but it tasted overpoweringly of shit and bleach. It looked pretty dirty, too.
She put her foot on the top of my head and forced it into the latrine. "Clean," she said in her gorgeous French accent. The porcelain bowl became cleaner and cleaner with every lick, and it tasted dire. It was also incredibly arousing. My tongue became coated with a thick brown fuzz. The desire to vomit was constant.
I lapped up the toilet water like a dog, the limescale nothing but an interesting aftertaste. With Death Metal playing the whole way through, too.
Man, I love French people.
