Dave's still around. I think he's on FB. Haven't seen him post in a while but still totally based.

Should we tell him they track you no matter what the fuck you do?

If you have a bank account they're all up in your shit homie.

We started hiding the stake burnings, but we keep our old traditions alive.

I'm excited as fuck there's a newgrounds instance on blueskies.

Fuck stinky Musk, I'm down with the future. I'm used to these problems of our current times, because I had the problems of today, yesterday.

Blue sky felt like mastodon to me. Threads is doing okay. I tried bluesky first and unless it's gotten a lot better i don't see a point.

Don't worry @TomFulp , your wallet is safe as long as people aren't distracted by disgusting sugar grits. I'll make sure only delicious savory ingredients like cheese and bacon go into the grits, and we'll all have the wholesome energy to stay vigilant against tamale crazed wallet thieves.

Buy your own mexican food, 7Cs. It doesn't count if you don't have enthusiastic consent.

@TrinaTan

Has learning to convey fictional emotion in order play roles damaged your ability to have authentic communication about your feelings in personal relationships, knowing you're capable of telling convincing lies and manipulating those closest to you using these same skills?

I'm interested to know which of the ancient african orishas @guardias follows or works with. For example, I notice Guardias has a very masculine voice for such a young man. Has his vocal power been enhanced by the offering of ebbos to Legba, god of language and iron hard erections? His talent seems unnaturally mature for someone his age.

Form sounds so boring, but learning form makes everything else so much easier.

Holding the stick the exact same way, striking as flat as possible, and doing dumb stuff like off center strikes and ghost notes for accentuations is all super boring forms shit.

I noticed all the super fast precise drummers all had one thing in common: they barely moved their hand. The less you move your hand to strike, the faster you can play. Economy of motion.

But imagine playing, having a good time, and having some asshole tell you "STOP MOVING YOUR ARM SO MUCH, YOU'RE SABOTAGING YOUR SPEED AND ACCURACY"

Strike the exact same way with the same force consistently, and it acts like a metronome to keep you in time. As in, the stick is like a pendulum, and the swing and rebound tell you exactly where you are in the strike.

I could write a book about striking forms. I got carpal tunnel from using bad form and figured out a between the first and second finger grip that let me keep my hand very open while at the same time letting me swing the stick by barely moving my fingers. Imagine if the drum stick was a giant cigarette, that's how I hold my sticks. But the stick swings just by opening and closing your fist, so if you use rebound to lift the stick, you can play fast as FUUUUuuuuUUUUUCK. Your hand is not designed to work that way and it takes forever to stop hurting, but once you unlock it it increases your speed by a third. It's substantial.

Hi.

Somewhat locally okayish drummer here.

I've been told by strangers I'm good.

I have received money for teaching drums before.

Basics:

There are three parts to a beat, the bass, the snare, and the ride.

Most songs are written in a time signature "4/4" Only one of those 4's will matter to you, the other one just determines why kind of note gets a full beat.

The hard part of playing drums is playing with both hands and feet at the same time. Coordination and rhythm are the main skills you will have to work on.

The easiest part to learn is the ride. This is generally played with the dominant hand on either a large cymbal that is directly called a ride, or on the hi-hat. The ride is played every single beat, so all 4 of the beats in 4 time will be played on the ride. Do not stop playing the ride. It will take hours to develop consistency, which is the hard part of drumming. Keep playing the ride and counting to 4 over, and over, and over again. Do not stop. Stopping IS fucking up. Continuous rhythm is the goal of the ride. Never, ever stop playing the ride unless the entire song is done. Count to 4 while steadily hitting the ride until it is hypnotic.

Did I mention no stopping?

You will never, ever, EVER learn the drums if you stop. The drums are NOT a guitar, they are not played like guitar, they are not supposed to sound like guitar. Your job is to make as flat and even of a grid on which the other instruments to play with. if you stop, you have sabotaged every other part of the song. Do. Not. Stop. Oh you fucked up? DON'T STOP. Oh, it doesn't sound "right" DON'T FUCKING STOP. You're not feeling "confident" whatever the fuck that means? I SAID DON'T EVER FUCKING STOP.

Until you can play a ride WITHOUT STOPPING you won't be able to move on to any other skills. The beat is the heartbeat, when the beat stops, the song dies. WHY ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT STOPPING? I SAID DON'T EVER FUCKING STOP.

Once you can play a ride without stopping, then you can consider learning bass and snare. Maybe. But if you try to stop to fit the bass and snare in, guess what? YOU FUCKED UP. YOU KILLED THE BEAT. YOU HAVE TO START OVER AND NOT FUCKING STOP THIS TIME.

If you want to play "riffs" whatever the fuck that is, you've picked the wrong goddamn instrument. Riffs are for guitar. YOU ARE PLAYING DRUMS. Grid. Flat grid. that is your goal. NO GODDAMN STOPPING NOT EVER WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU JUST STOPPED TO PLAY A "RIFF" ON THE TOMS YOU DIPSHIT YOU WILL NEVER LEARN IF YOU KEEP STOPPING. NOT STOPPING IS THE WHOLE GODDAMN POINT.

Without the ride, bass and snare are meaningless. Toms are... utterly unnecessary. A distraction at best, sabotage at worst. Toms are for people who don't understand how drums work.

So the ride is in four, right?

1234123412341234123412341234123412341234123412341234123412341234...

Please note THERE IS NO STOPPING IT REPEATS FOREVER AND DOESN"T EVER GODDAMNT STOP STOP STOPPING YOU DIPSHIT THE POINT IS TO NOT GODDAMN STOP EVER>

you're making a grid, and the grid is supposed to be infinite, it doesn't stop, no matter how bored you get, no matter how much confidence you lack, not stopping is the entire skill you are learning and until you master that there's no point in continuing.

When you get confident and can continue without any kind of breaks or stopping at all without any exceptions ever, then you can start putting the bass drum on the 1.

So the bass drum is played 10001000100010001000100010001000, with 0 being silence.

You don't have to strike the drum to create a silence. You do have to count it as part of the ride, again, continuously . Every single moment must be accounted for. THIS IS YOUR WHOLE JOB IS TO CREATE A GRID THAT DOESN'T EVER STOP.

So on the 1, you will hit the ride and the bass, then 3 silences of bass during which the ride DOES NOT STOP.

What makes drumming impressive is playing multiple parts at the same time WITHOUT STOPPING. Anybody can just play one riff and stop. Consistency is the whole skill. This is not a guitar or a horn where you can just pop in and out of the song. You are NOT SUPPOSED TO STOP.

1234123412341234

1000100010001000

0030003000300030

See how it's a grid? That's is the goal. A nice flat grid other people can play with.

The bass is played with your dominant foot on the 1, and the snare is played with your nondominant hand on the 3.

Please note the majority of what you will be playing are silences. This the point. You are creating empty boxes for the guitarist, vocalist, and bassist to fill. They riff. You DON'T. Riffing is stopping, and you're not supposed to do that. If you can't play the riff without keeping the ride, bass, and snare going, you can't riff. Don't.

Once you can play all three parts without stopping (yeah, I see you there, looking for some weak ass excuse to stop. Don't play stupid. What is 100% of a drummers job? DON'T. STOP. Yes, I know it's hard to stay on beat and find the beat once you've lost it. THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO NOT STOP. NOT STOPPING IS THE IMPRESSIVE THING ABOUT DRUMMING.)

it's SUPPOSED to be repetitive. It's SUPPOSED to be predictable. You can't dance to a beat that keeps stopping. You can't head bang to stopping. I could fill this post with just the words "DON'T STOP DUMBASS" and still not over state my point. The drums are the road, the rest of the band are cars. Stopping the drums means the guitar and vocalist run out of road. Just like how a road is supposed to be straight and evenly spaced, that's how your ride, bass and snare should be.

if you just learn that beat, you can play about half of all songs. it sounds simple, and maybe the first handful of times you play it will be, but around the hundred time you play it over and over again without stopping, that's when you have to learn the consistency which again IS THE ENTIRE POINT of playing drums.

If you learn

1234123412341234

1000110010001100

0003000300030003

that's 85% of all punk

Again, the hard part is consistency and not stopping. This is VERY DIFFERENT from guitar, and the skills WILL NOT cross over.

Wiesi is a legend.

His consistent contributions held internet culture together.

A japanese company?

Bigoted?

Impossible.

So there was this military division in japan called Unit 731 and....

They're not .

You have anhedonia, a symptom of depression.

So you're just german?

I first read this is as "Bobby Rush CyberFunk" and I got really excited, because I am from Memphis and we are weird.

Oh Tom, you scamp! Newgrounds has been "falling" since 2005. When something falls for long enough without hitting the ground, that's called "orbit" and it means you're a celestial body.

I mean, do you want to learn jazz the right way, or do you just wanna sound stereotypically "jazzy" using a quick tip from a dude on the internet?

Because one takes a lifetime of study, the other is use all 7 chords. You know how most major chords on the keyboard are every other white note? Just use 4 keys every other key instead of three.

If you want to get serious, you'll also have to learn sustained and diminished chords, but at that point you're kind of properly studying jazz seriously and no longer just using a gimmick to sound jazzy.

I blame weens for this.

We should not have tolerated the weens, even as little as we did.

Why did God and His power over rain abandon your entire continent?

Like, what did you do that God cursed you with eternal drought?

Also, drop bears. They're scary. How do you live with the constant fear magpies might drop marsupial lions on you?

Hey, I'm talking about poop here.

That was food when I ate it.

I want my food back.

The worst part is when my volcanic shit islands get populated by migrant flies before I can plunger them down the porcelain bore of my ivory throne.

Yesterday I had to poop so much my body refused to digest the contents of my stomach and I had to puke halfway through the dump, then sit back down to get the rest out.

It's gonna take a lot of cabbage and beans to force out all these gut knots.

I know, they just let us post raw video, and since there's no snitches, nobody ever gets in trouble.

That explains why it felt like I was shitting bricks and concrete.

I'm in a pretty good one.

But like, someone (actually two) people had to literally die for her to become single.

I feel like there's a really important line between good sex/bad sex that never gets drawn.

Bad sex with an unenthusiastic partner isn't worth having.

If she's just "letting" you fuck, that's kinda worse than not getting laid.

There's a massive difference between a woman "letting" you fuck and literally feeling someone orgasm on your dick.

The loosest pussy in the world turns into a vice during orgasm.

It is better to stay a virgin for YEARS than it is to have bad sex with someone who's not all that into you.

Like, sex with a hot chick who's not all that into you is WORSE than sex with an okay looking woman who really think's you're hot stuff.

Any hole is NOT a goal.

it's totally fine to just jack it to porn instead of have awkward uncomfortable sex with someone who really just wants social interaction and feels they have to use sex to form relationships.

Let's be honest, shitty youtube reviews were a direct heritage from NG's horrifically spiteful reviews from the early 00's.

We joke about "the problems of the future... TODAY!" but seriously, that's pretty much how it went down.

I'm a "brad" which is like a Chad but nicer

For lying about paying off Stormy Daniels and saying the money was for "legal fees" for his lawyer, and it's proven the lawyer did it as a straw purchase to make it to where Trump could lie and say he hadn't paid her when he definitely had. The lawyer has already rolled on him, and since Stormy Daniels was one of the first big scandals in his presidency, many of the people trying to take Trump down think it's appropriate to come after him on this issue first regardless of the findings on other acusations that came later.

Because let's face it, that should have been enough.

I mean, Hunter Biden still has drug fueled sex parties, but at least he doesn't try to stiff the hookers when he pays them.

I seriously considered letting myself hit the text limit, because I totally could have.

"Motherfucker we know what fucking time of year it is. Don't play with us, we're on full blown Rick Sanchez puking and burping mode. Ask our nose, tell me you can't smell gunpowder and kerosene right now, bullshit, you know you can smell it. You can feel the fucking radiant heat coming down from the ceiling from the ghost flames of hell night.

Fuck no we don't give a shit about the exact date, now randomly smell blood for no reason. Now hear phantom screams in your head. We heard your little bitch ass is going to therapy again after you got kicked out for not letting them hospitalize you last year. Mother fucker you let them take your money and laugh for four years then they told you you were too fucked up for them to even try the most basic ass therapy on you.

They ain't gonna do shit for you until they get you hooked on that benzo dope that killed Alan Mckinney. They could make a hundred thousand dollars keeping your ass locked up with your trauma history. Lots of folks are on disability for less than a quarter of what you've been through, dipshit. That's a bounty on your head and you goddamn know it. Why would they help you for 85$ a pop once every two weeks with a $35 dollar copay when they could get you for 700 a day for 30 days locked up in the crazy jail? They know they're not gonna get that 7k$ deductible, so they're gonna amp up the charges high as fuck to make sure they make enough money to make it worth their while.

You think anyone gives a shit you've played two shows in two weeks and have another show next week? That doesn't prove you're functional, that proves you're so fucked up you're still trying to escape into music. We are just getting fucking STARTED with the nightmares, you know we can shrug off that melatonin we don't give a fuck how much you take. They want to create the paper trail to force you onto disability and medicaid so they can hospitalize you every year for the rest of your life and make fucking BANK doing it.

You think if they could have helped you, they would have done it during that half a fucking decade you were going twice a month? All you're doing is providing the paperwork that's gonna be used against you later when they strip you of your legal rights and put you in a conservatorship. Once youre on disability and medicaid and lose your legal rights to refuse treatment, they're gonna milk you for cash until the medications they force on you kill you.

You work for the medical billing industry, remember? You've seen how they do every other crazy person, do you think youre special? You might not be under a court order now, but what did they tell you when you followed up on that hospitalization referral? Putting you on disability and stripping you of your legal rights is the name of the fucking game. You think they didn't rent out Minglewood with out those dividends in mind, did you?

Your new therapist is gonna take one look at you and get dollar signs in his eyes. It's been nearly 6 goddamn years, if you were going to get better you'd have done it by now. They don't give a shit you work. Your first therapist told you to quit your job before she threatened to have the cops drag you off if you even thought about getting mad she's refusing you as a client for being too fucked up. And what did your second therapist you had to use your insurance to force to take you do? Same goddamn thing, just took longer to do it. And the third therapist straight up tried to have you hospitalized, gave you the number to the local psych ward and all that.

For once in your life pay a-fucking-ttention. If you let them document you've had severe dissociative symptoms for 6 fucking years that alone will justify you getting declared disabled, moron. You should have cut your losses last year and ghosted that bitch the second she acted like she didn't hear your treatment goal was to stay out of the goddamn hospital.

Therapist #4 is gonna hear about 1-3 and decide he's on team therapy, not team crazy dipshit and do you just like they did. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results, and here you are trying therapist #4.

Jesus christ, what did I do to deserve to be this fucking idiot's stomach? "

Signed, your stomach.