Nirvana.

Shitty low energy band where nobody could play guitar worth a shit, the vocalist's voice sounded like whiny shit, his lyrics were whiny shit, and the only redeeming quality was the drummer.

I remember being fucking happy when I heard Cobain died, because it meant no new Turdvana music would ever be released.

Why do people pretend to like this old ass garbage? It has no redeeming qualities. It was punk rock without the one thing that makes punk rock redeemable: high energy.

Everything about it is it objectively, factually, measurably scientifically shit?

Do people only pretend to like this shit because it's a dog whistle for being on heroin or something?

I think the gubment shut them down for hosting the christchurch shooting livestream.

I guess it's good I can't find the Jared Mclemore 5-12-2017 self immolation video anymore.

That's right, only do unextracted plant substances, like weed and mushrooms.

Which I am.

I got that Dionysys touch.

With a shake of my wrist I turned many a bottle of water, and grape concentrate, and sugar, into wine.

Strong too, at least 19% abv.

I eventually gave it up because I didn't drink enough to justify having 5 gal of wine on me at any given time.

Drinking's also just not that fun compared to like, weed, or mushrooms.

More like he was too much of a puss to follow through.

Nothing lame about being gay.

I wish I were gayer, so I could fuck more people.

All group sex requires someone to be queer.

In fact, if you're non-binary, you're incapable of being 100% gay, because every partner will be partially hetero to you.

You don't even have to be gay to be a pretty boy, lots of women like pretty boys and even fem boys.

Imagine sticking your dick in a gloryhole and not having to care about the gender of the orifice on the other side.

Who made you hate freedom?

I did this yesterday.

No shame.

If you don't like it buy me lunch, because if you're not paying for my lunch you don't get to tell me what to eat.

They're a lot more similar after you find out Japan is a fascist ethnostate, and has carried out several genocides and systematic rapes of enslaved women.

Gaining weight is still gains.

You can drink fryer grease as a beverage if you're strong enough.

Deep frying adds nutrients to every food.

Do cardio by travelling. If you walk/ride a bicycle until you are tired, you will be forced to go back home and double your gains.

Only one of these suggestions is real.

Just because victims of abuse often feel comfortable in abusive situations from stockholm syndrome doesn't mean they "secretly crave" dudes who act like pieces of shit to them.

if a woman is your property, you don't scuff her up by treating her like shit. You own her. Her value is your wealth.

Only a man who secretly craves being dumped like a loser lowers the value of his sexual possessions.

The most masculine thing a big dick swinging man can do is nurture his daughter. All strength comes from nurturing; a true strong man is well aware just as his muscles need rest and nourishing to grow, so does his woman's heart.

the leader is the #1 follower. Example beats instruction every time. If you're not improving her, you don't understand the first thing about mastery.

I got pajamas that were disturbingly stretchy, silky, and form fitting in the ass.

I think she got me man lingerie, bro.

Lol, more like you spend 100 pages of them NOT doing "it" but REALLY, REALLY WANTING TO AND BEING CONFUSED ABOUT IT. Then they do "it" one good time, then *insert impending doom* thing happens, then *insert hero saving day.* Then, they do it one more time, get all gushy about how much they liked doing it, and promise to do it all the time from now on, like a whole lot. Towel on the bed, the whole thing.

Ladyporn, aka, "romance" novels.

Women love'em. They know they're garbage but they just can't stop reading.

50 Shades of Grey was by all means a poorly written fan fic. The whole thing is just bad.

But, it's lady porn, and ladies love lady porn. You don't see any gentlemen complaining about the bad acting skills in the gentlemen's clubs.

I used to flood the forums with ladyporn, because I'm deeply mentally ill and writing ladyporn is a lot of fun. Lady porn for an author is like hentai for a cartoonist; it's something that doesn't take too much skill to make that people want.

So... should I get back into writing ladyporn? Should I maybe try to seriously write and release a romance novel?

He played a very convincing president while his cronies looted the treasury, so this tracks.

Fuck me?

Okay, Peaches, it's an an orgy then.

Time to fuck the pain away

Hello Newgrounds,

Being on the sexiest user made content site, I assume most of your have girlfriends, wives, probably a couple of boyfriends and husbands and polycule people too, considering all these furry sigs I see these days.

So, what are you getting your sex receptacles for Valentine's Day?

Valentine's a very special day when people are vulnerable and easily manipulated. A small gift of something as ephemeral as a dead flower or ground up fermented and sweetened caco seeds can provide a large amount of emotional control on it's recipient.

If you want to secure power in your emotional empire, it's important to disburse these fripperous trinkets.

Love may not be real, but sex is, and so is emotional control, so if you want the latter two, you're going to have to cough up some V-Day presents.

I got the GF a tiny color changing butterfly in a glass bottle display necklace. I bought the last one, so you won't see it in the link.

Since that arrived a week early, I also got her half a dozen roses the day of, because does it really count if you don't get them flowers?

So, what did you get your significant other(s)?

Peepee Poopoo indeed. Peepee Poopoo.

Art is inherently liberal in nature. Conservative artists might exist, but conservatives are more likely to take up a trade. Only rich, spoiled liberals have the kind of free time it takes to practice art.

It's all just going to become increaslingly liberal. There was a brief dip in the graph of conservativism, like there was in the 80's, but we'll be even more liberal that we ever were soon.

That's why old people get lonely; eventually everyone you know dies or goes away and the "kids these days" just get more and more liberal.

the only way to survive socially is to become more liberal as standards change.

Is this a rhetorical question?

YES.

The whole reason I'm here is for dick, poop, fart, butt, and other sophomoric humor.

PENIS.

Thank you for your service.

I mean, it's a site for librul artists, and you're not a librul.

How do you think it would go?

Did you just make up a word?

Hi, I'm FUNKbrs.

I'm not mentally disabled, no matter what those stupid therapists say.

I have nightmares all the time.

Last night I dreamt there was a small music festival at a house I used to live at that was a collection of modular sheds all smashed up next to each other. Like imagine a guy was living in a shed, and he got some money, and bought a second shed to attach to his current shed, and did this like 10 times to make a whole building. That was the punk house.

So I'm at this house, and for whatever reason, I'm living outdoor style. Like, I have a tarp, groundsheet, and sleeping bag, and a back pack, and that's it for my worldly possessions.

I'm hanging out with these other homeless crusty musicians, and I remember I have grown a really large supply of mushrooms in a college science lab I snuck into with some college kids.

The whole thing is weird because in the dream I used to live in that punk house, and the guy who ran it both hated me and was also one of my old friends, because I'd saved his ass a couple times. Specifically it was Gunshot Steve, who accidentally shot himself and I tourniqueted him and got him to first aid care IRL. The first time anyone accused me of having PTSD was right after this. Steve hates me now because everytime he sees me he gets anxiety about the time his dumbass shot himself.

So the whole dream I'm wandering through this crusty shed dungeon where all the walls are made of corrugated rusty sheet metal and there are hidden doors and basements every where. I'm wandering through this "house" at like 3am while everyone is asleep looking for my hidden mushrooms and I keep startling crusty punks who get all aggro until I explain I know where's some mushrooms, then they tell me where they might be.

In the end of the dream they were in a little jar in my bag the whole time, because someone found them and put them back.

Then I woke up.

So, there's this thing called the "rubicon of irony"

Caesar, when he turned Rome into a dictatorship, crossed a river called the Rubicon with his army in violation of Roman law. So the phrase "Crossing the Rubicon" means to switch allegiances to where you either conquer or perish.

The Rubicon of Irony is when you've entertained something ironically "as a joke" for so long that your brain starts to unironically associate it with happiness. This is a huge part of the Boomerization process, where as a young person you make fun of old people until you start to unironically love old people things.

This is also a strategy that's been used really effectively by nazis and white supremacists to make themselves relevant over the past 20 years.

So, if the theory is correct, the reverse can be done, where you take some "alpha male" dude and get him to make fun of gay people for long enough, eventually the dopamine hits will make his brain associate gayness with happiness, and he'll start to unironically be gay. I've watched this process happen on this very BBS.

IT TOTALLY FUCKING WORKS.

The most butt humpiest dudes you will ever meet are old soldiers who sit around calling each other "gay" ironically, then they start rubbing each other's dicks... "as a joke" until one of them cums, then of course they just literally had gay sex and are well... officially gay. .

A truly straight dude wouldn't even want to call someone gay as a insult, because gay stuff isn't even on their mind; their brain is too full of vagina cravings.

So, this means if you can get someone to gaybash you long enough, you can... turn them gay.

Theoretically.

This is also why people say every homophobe is closet queer, deep down inside.

I'm trying it out on manosphere losers and well... it seems to work eerily well.

You can literally build houses out of dirt, but we don't let people do it because we have to compel them to sell their labor to the business owing class.

If you're in pe, are you also possibly in poo?

I don't know, when he was little his pizza was a good value for the price.

Classic.

Rock.

Fucking torture. Fucking torture. I've heard every song 1bajillion times. Please stop stealing my life. I want music made in my lifetime. Is that too much to ask?

I know this is politics, but the dude did kinda try to commit a coup, and by "try" I mean people died and millions of dollars in damages were done to property

I've got a personal beef with them because they labeled me as mentally ill after I was marked attending an even event where a guy killed himself as part of an arson attack. 6 fucking years later they still harass me with targeted mental health ads.

Still, they're a ubiquitous utility, and you can't really promote anything without them.

As a musician, I can't afford to abandon promoting on FB.

100% agree. Fucc the Zucc.

That's quite a compliment

That's quite an insult.

Make up your mind, do you love him or hate him? I realize you may be jealous of his fat gay sexiness, but it's kinda hard to be sexay AF and original at the same time.